For once I’m praying my little girls wake up a little early
this morning? “Em, Why would you want that?” You may ask. Well it’s my very
first time to leave them for more than one night and I want to kiss their
little faces before I head off to the airport. I know you’d think I’d be
thrilled to be heading off for three whole nights without the kids and husband.
Maybe by the end of the trip I’ll be hankering for just one more night away,
but as I sit here writing this I can honestly say, I think I’d prefer to be in
music class with my kids, something we do every Friday morning. It’s usually my
husband who is up at the craic of dawn, fumbling about in the dark trying to
finish packing as he heads off on yet another business trip and so to say it
felt a little alien for me to be the one doing the fumbling this morning is a
little bit of an understatement. Bleary eyed I stumbled to the bathroom, washed
my face and brushed my teeth. Applied my makeup (in 2 minutes, it’ll never
last!) and quickly got dressed. Still no sign of the kids stirring…this never
happens! So I fumbled about some more, louder though this time and accidentally
on purpose woke the kids. Little feet padded across the hall floor and sleepy
eyed princesses entered the room. “Are you still here mama?” “I am so give me
as many kisses and cuddles as you can now, cause I’m gonna miss that face!” Wet
kisses and neck strangling hugs later my taxi arrives and I’m off. What now, I
feel a little lighter physically (no nappy bags leaving the house will do that
to ya) but a little heavier in the heart. Not having the nappy wearer with you
will do that to yaL.
Anyway, departure gates call, coffee and magazine in hand and you know
something I’m beginning to feel a little, dare I say, excited?! Guilty, but
excited. Guilty because I’m an Irish mother and I think it comes with the title
of being a mammy. Guilty because I feel a little self-indulgent to just head
off to Spain for three days by myself (to a friend btw). But excited, because it’s something I think I
should do, something my husband thinks will be good for me. Find a little bit
of the old me again, regain some of my lost confidence which inevitably happens
when you become a mam and have been out of the work place for over three years.
Not long to landing and I’m going to give myself over to the experience, as a
good friend said to me “Mammy guilt is completely normal, just leave it at the
airport!” So here goes, page one of a magazine I’m going to read cover to cover
cause I can.
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